The Worst Toupee I've Ever Seen

Well, here it is: the worst toupee I've ever seen. I saw this decrepit dude during the summer of 1993 while caddying at a Long Island country club. The drawing here is an exaggeration. A slight exaggeration! The guy wearing this thing appeared to have been born sometime in the 15th century. He was this crinkled old man; his skin was leathery and every spot on his face was laden with wrinkles. He looked liked something that would have been unearthed near a pyramid. I ain't jokin'! The style of his toupee was reminiscent of the Beatles' first appearance on the Ed Sullivan show except his "hair" was a grey-brown with blonde highlights. He was tiny but not quite dwarf-like. His knees buckled and he would slowly move around as he cracked jokes with the other club members. The thing that really creeped me out was that since it was a humid summer day, he was sweating like crazy. But, his hair didn't get wet!! It was obviously made of a space-age material manufactured somewhere deep within the cosmos.

Now, I have nothing against old people; everyone gets old eventually. Its just how you pull it off that matters. This dude was way too old & his hair looked way too young! What is it with the geriatric set and Beatle wigs?! This guy was born well before 1964. I don't get it!!! . . . yeah, yeah, yeah!